Want to know the perfect formula on how to create a frustrating system, provide terrible customer service, and manage to drive a loyal customer to hate? Just take lessons from PayPal - they are doing a great Job at really screwing up.
Here's the magic combo:
First, PayPal created some security restrictions that 'automatically' triggered on my account. While they won't say, I'm guessing its because I accepted 20-30 payments before I attempted to make a full-withdrawal. Regardless, this sparked their security system and it asked that I certify my account (this is different than verify). To do this, I have to ADD MY PERSONAL CREDIT CARD to the account ?@?#$@#$# I also have to verify my SS#. The first step takes 1 week for the transaction to show on my personal CC#... The second step fails because they say that I've used my SS# at some point in the past.
If anyone is like me, I've been using the Internet and PayPal since 2000. As a tribute to PayPal, I actually have two accounts. One is for CentreSource, the other was for my campaign. But because of that, I'm now kicked to the next level- RESOLUTION CENTER! This place in the PayPal Nightmare is a series of steps I have to accomplish before they will give me my money. Note: We're at over 2 weeks now to get through all of this.
As I attempt to solve the mysteries of the RESOLUTION CENTER, I learn from my off-shore customer service rep that they'll have to cancel my CentreSource account so they can transfer my SS# to the Campaign account. I say "you're joking... In all your years, you've never had someone that wants to separate PayPal accounts for legitimate business reasons?". He lets me know that many people have had this problem, but offers no logical reason why. Uber-secret security measures I'm guessing.
So, on to trying to work via their system.
The RESOLUTION CENTER (bad interface, obscure directions) asks for various pieces of info including: Copy of my SS Card, copy of a utility bill, a SUPER SECURE Fax Cover Sheet (courtesy of PayPal), and my explanation. I fax this info and get a confirmation.
A little over 12 hours later, I get another email saying "They're very sorry..." but they need more info. To my shock and amazement, they are asking for the EXACT SAME INFO I JUST FAXED. It seems my off-shore buddy didn't put in a good word for me and now they're just being mean. I reply to the email, letting them know my frustration, and am quickly greeted by an AUTOMATED RESPONSE reminding me that they don't read any replies - only communications filed through the ULTRA-SECURE RESOLUTION CENTER (scary music queue).
When I go back to the RESOLUTION CENTER, I go to their messaging section and surprise, surprise... their ultra-death-dealing security measures also provide a messaging system that DOES NOT KEEP TRACK of any communications back and forth. How are my off-shore buddies supposed to keep up with my case?
Alas, I still don't have my money (3 weeks later) and PayPal's RESOLUTION CENTER AKA: MONEY HOSTAGE NEGOTIATOR still won't give me my funds. They are still asking for the same info I've faxed. Their response to my last DOUBLE-DECODER-RING-SECRET-MESSAGE was that they couldn't help me until I followed the steps in their GOD FORSAKEN @#$@#$@ RESOLUTION CENTER.
I hope SEO picks this up: PayPal Sucks, PayPal is Bad, PayPal delivers bad Customer Service, PayPal deserves a KGB Assassination (if anyone finds this article through the keywords PayPal KGB Assassination, I'll fall out of my chair).